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Inexpensive costume ideas for Halloween
- By Kimball Bennion
- Trail Staff Writer
- It’s that time of year again. The time when weekly column writers who are out of ideas use a widely celebrated holiday to generate some creativity. Of course the holiday in question is Halloween.
I’m afraid Halloween is seen by too many as a children’s holiday, what with the asking strangers for candy and such. Far too many college students and adults fail to realize that the tradition of dressing up is still fun after age 13.
Not enough scratch to buy that elaborate Captain Jack Sparrow costume you say? Why what a feeble imagination. Half of the fun of Halloween costumes is thinking of your own cost-cutting ideas that will still make you the life of the party. If you’re struggling to think of anything because you’re too busy occupying your mind with homework, future career paths or other major life decisions, you’re lucky to be reading a column written by someone who doesn’t devote a lot of brainpower to such things.
But enough of all that, here now are some inexpensive costume ideas for the Halloween season. Enjoy.
Weekend Update Adam Sandler. Ever since he left Saturday Night Live, no one else has been there to give us zany costume suggestions involving everyday objects. So why not do it yourself? “Hey, I’m crazy-Adam-Sandler-creating-a-costume-out-of-a-pickle-man! Now gimme some candy!”
You’ll need: A buzz-cut, a baseball cap, a pocket tee from Target, khaki cargo pants and a common household item (preferably a pickle). Unintelligible falsetto noises are optional.
Street-cred preppie. Everyone remembers the cheerleader who suddenly showed up to school one day in a CBGB shirt, but then got totally grossed out when she saw a picture of their restrooms. “They totally didn’t show that on VH1, you guys.” This is especially timely since you can go around telling people how lame it was that CBGB got shut down. Also, try saying things like, “Dude, the Clashes are so cool!”
You’ll need: A faux-hawk. This is a fence-rider’s mohawk that can be created with hair wax. It enables being “punk” when necessary, yet also avoids strange looks at your “OC” parties. A T-shirt from Hot Topic and a few safety pins here and there – just as long as they don’t actually puncture the skin. “I mean, seriously, you guys, eew!”
Patient in a waiting room. This is good for people who like to sit down rather than mingle at the costume party. Look at your watch a lot and make awkward small talk with people who sit next to you. If anyone else at the party goes as a doctor, you could even ask that person how much longer it’s going to be.
You’ll need: A month-old People magazine and a couch.
Love child of Mel Gibson and Mike Tyson. Whenever you’re in public, say really stupid and offensive things out loud. If anyone gets mad, just say “Hey, I’m Mike Gibson for Halloween!” They’ll get it.
You’ll need: a tattoo on your face and the inability to think before you speak.
Semi-famous radio personality. I put this one last because it’s basically a cop-out for people who either can’t think of anything at all or are way too cheap to have any fun on Halloween. You’ll need to pick a radio personality who people know but haven’t seen. Howard Stern would not work, but maybe Dr. Laura would. For example, when people ask you who you’re supposed to be, just say, “Oh, I’m Ira Glass from This American Life. Y’know, that radio show?” They’ll have no choice but to believe you. Be warned that there is a slight risk of running into Ira Glass at a costume party, and unless you happen to look just like him, this could be an awkward situation.
You’ll need: some headphones maybe. I don’t know. Do something, you cheapskate! Remember, no cash is no excuse to go costume-less this Halloween. The sense of humor of a middle-school-aged boy and a little creativity can go a long way. There are literally five ideas to choose from!
- Trail Staff Writer